Sunday, May 12, 2013

2013 Mothers Day

So I pretty much thank my mom like all the time, but I just love her. She's just so cool and amazing and humble. I just can't thank her enough for everything she does  :)

Thank you for being a good person, you taught me to appreciate.
Thank you for being appreciative, you taught me to be happy.
Thank you for being happy, you taught me to smile.
Thank you for smiling, you taught me to love.
Thank you for loving me, you taught me to trust.
Thank you for trusting me, you taught me to be honest.
Thank you for being honest, you taught me to listen.
Thank you for listening, you taught me to be patient.
Thank you for being patient, you taught me to be kind.
Thank you for being kind, you taught me to be supportive.
Thank you for being supportive, you taught me to be strong.
Thank you for being strong, you taught me to believe in myself.
Thank you for believing in yourself, you taught me to be a good person.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Poems: Just Smile

Don't just conclude, when I smile at you, means I need something from you, 
something I don't want, won't take, won't let break my ways. 
I just want to smile, okay?
Can't you just smile back?
What pity this world, to have such grief on their shoulders,
that a simple smile is too hard to mull over,
at a passing stranger, could that be such a danger?
What a world, all frowns, dragging us down to the ground.
A bed of dirt we have made from the tragedies we crave.
Such a harsh sign of anger, to not smile at a stranger.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Poems: Bittersweet

This ol' truck's resigned. So I need a new ride.
That 2.2 Liter engine needs serious attention.
Need somethin that ain't charred. Some wheels to push hard.
That divine chemistry does a number on me, what a sweet melody. 
Like the sound of music, I come alive when I'm cruisin.

I just want a silverado, to travel to eldorado.
Where I'll meet a magician, I'll keep in my kitchen,
Till he grants me two wishes and scratches my itches.
Get a big ass old truck, romp around in the muck,
then we'll swim to the shire and build an empire.
We're smokin' the tires and igniting the fires.

Then I woke up to some change in a cup.
I'll have to go cheaper, and find me a keeper.
I'll get me a blazer to travel through nature.
To and from campus where I learn to paint canvas.
That 4.3 Liter Engine, gives me more to mention,
as I fly off the streets and run from police.

Till one day I'm riding alone, on my way home, to get ready for work, surrounded by jerks. 
A magical creature appears from the speaker, with heavenly features and explains the procedures. Just climb up the steps and pay your respects at the pearly white gates and ask for the weights, place them on the scale so God may avail. I climb up the steps and await the consent.

Unexpectedly, we're back at the scene, the bitch behind me clipped my new SUV. 
Three flips in my ride, land on the wrong side
I crawl out the space, that just defaced
my driver door window and my screams just bellowed.
No words in my brain to describe all the pain.
I'm so fucking devoid of that last bit of joy I had driving my toy.

My life's up in flames as I'm screaming in vain.
I hear her telling lies as she tries to deny why her hooptie collided with mine.
The medics encage me but I won't let them take me.
Not a mark on my skin, all the pain is within.
I wish God had taken me in.

Now, I'm cooped up in a Camry and I feel just like bambi,
Till the settlement check pays for my rent 
and finances the debt I'll never regret.
A big white shiny new truck. Never needing to give a fuck.
That 5.3 liter engine sounds just like heaven.
She's got all the bells and whistles and the power of a missile.

Then the bills settle in, it's all getting grim. 
The gluttony with my money made me buy a new heap
and now im imprisoned inside a white sheep that claims it's a jeep.
Oh, it's so bittersweet.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Poems: Confessions of a Service Advisor

I fear therein the skin I'm in has grown thin.
I can't muster up the willpower to win.
People surround me in this horrible place.
All glued to the paper in this financial race.
Who wins in the end?
Will we ever see glory?
Battle with no blood shed, doesn't mean allegory.
I just realized, they blinded my eyes, I was hypnotized.
But still I must fight for the dying night light inside my camp site.
A couple grand I must take, so my checks in the bank 
can pay for the meal that sits on my plate.

Sir, your car shit the bed. 
You will need new heads, but first let me warn you our tech's a crackhead.
The car you drove in is already in route, he took it and stole it.
It's getting cleaned out.
I could get it back. Fifty grand to buy out.
And we know you have the paper,
just your bentley could buy me ten acres,
a farm and a vineyard, a brand spankin new bank card 
with a pin I could discard, and a saint bernard, on my boulevard
that could check your ID card, when you drop your guard, 
to throw shards in my avant-garde front yard.

Visa or Mastercard?
All up to you, but your american express card just won't do.
We can't afford to give those miles to you.
So go home to your wife and cry about life, stab your maid with a knife. I feel for your strife.
The food on my plate is still worth the debate.
I work for a man with a pension plan, who can't understand why I need a floor plan.
He has no kids and a truck as big as your bad luck who refuses to pay
to hear what I have to say, since I cannot bespeak, I'm here six days a week.
Call when you decide if that coupe's worth the ride.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Alive again

I've made some real progress in my life. I'm back to feeling alive again. Back to feeling like I can take on the world, and back to giving a crap about everything! WOW. Imagine what you would feel like if you knew the one thing in the world that would destroy your motivation and you made the necessary changes to remove this from your life? That is what a desk job does for me, sucks away all my motivation and all my energy. Now, don't get me wrong, I am definitely one who can sit on my computer for hours at a time drawing or amusing myself on Pinterest, but working in a chair, at a desk, with a computer in front of me and the phone ringing non stop and needing to be at my desk to help you and answer your questions is just no life for me. 

That smile that you see on my face is for real now! 

It's definitely a little bittersweet. I can't help but want to talk to you about your car and ask you a million questions about it. I'm just really glad I don't have to sell you anything for it anymore, cuz you turn into a jerk when you have to spend money on it. 

So now I'm working at a very busy restaurant. I love it. I'm a hostess and it's just insanity, we're always busy, always running around like fools with our heads cut off and just basking in the lunacy.... ok wait... maybe it's just me. I love every second of the manic stampedes of crowds that tromp through the door. It certainly doesn't fulfill my craving to see your car and touch your car and talk to you about your car, but the pace of it all keeps my mind off those desires. It almost brings a serene silence to my mind as I'm rushing around setting up tables and telling people "no, thats not your table", "you can't seat yourself, go to the host stand", "we're quoting about 3 hours right now for a table" and my favorite, "yes, you definitely can pay not to wait" but don't offer me a $5, make it worth my time, $50 sounds about good. 

I'm not saying I don't get frustrated with your stupid questions and you thinking that since you see an open table it must be yours, and our 3 hour wait must be bogus, of course I get frustrated, and maybe even a little bitchy, but that's just cuz I have to repeat that same explanation over and over to 600+ guests in a 5 hour period. Don't walk in immediately bitching, your service will suck and you will sit in bird shit. And it's not like I can make the birds shit, they aren't little remote control birds, and I'm definitely not the one throwing food on the floor here. I mean come on people. Karma will always find you.

I don't know if you're aware of this but basically if a restaurant is quoting 3 hours that means the WHOLE ENTIRE restaurant will get sat about two times before you get a table. In my particular situation, that means... with 80 tables in the restaurant averaging 4 people per table which equals about... 320 people to seat BEFORE YOU!!! 320 other HUMAN BEINGS that are just as hungry as you are, with the same or more problems as you're experiencing came in earlier and planned better than you. Sorry about your luck, here's your bird shit. Uh buh bye. 

I've also learned how amazingly selfish most people are. I hear guests all the time like 
"can't you tell them to get up"
"who cares about the reservation" (aka the person who called 3 months ago to reserve that table) 
"let us sit there" 
"We have kids!!!"
"Yeah and so does that reservation, and it's little Suzie's 3rd birthday and their family tradition is to come here on her birthday because this is her favorite place and all four of her 90 year old grandparents are attending as well." If you don't like our wait, McDonald's is 3.4 miles up the road!!

There's a huge lack of humanity amongst people now. Now I'm not overly religious or anything, but where the hell are your morals people!?!?!?! Think of what you're teaching your kids!!! Now you might find this outrageous that we'll give tables to people who pay, but generally they're the ones who understand, they're the ones who are usually nicer, they're the ones who realize 'hey these girls are working hard, I want to eat, maybe there's a way to squeeze us in a little faster??' So that's how we justify it. 
Being a self-righteous, inhumane jerk = WAIT. 
Being a generally awesome human being = EAT. 
Learn it, live it, love it!

I'm not kidding about the bird shit either, people get shit on all the time. It's so hilarious to me too how people think they have to tell me they got shit on last time they ate here. Like okay, maybe you should ask to sit inside....? Um, hello we are civilized human beings who have spent hundreds of decades improving our shelters in order to protect us from the 'elements' and yet you still want to be outside... then you deal with nature. Sorry were you expecting a free meal? I get shit on at least once a year, I'm prone to believe this really is a sign of good luck, but I guess that just comes down to how you look at life. 

And people wonder why I love nature so much. :) 
I love CK Lewis' standup where he asks why people are so uncomfortable on the planet we call home. If this is home, why are we so miserable? Why do we hate everything about it? It's either too hot or too cold or too muggy or too wet or too much bird shit. 
Shut up, smile and deal with it.

Have a great day!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Workday: Ch. 3

One last post from the auto industry.

If you own a car - read this. 

To all of you who think you shouldn't have to pay your mechanic to figure out what's wrong with your stinky p.o.s. car - you do. Flat out, you should, and you should want to. Free diagnostics means a whole mess of things that would inform any educated human being that the auto repair shop you're about to get your car fixed at, is not the best choice. Pay for your diagnostics and pay gladly. 

A repair shop that does not charge for diagnostics first and foremost means that the technicians looking at your car are not happy people. You do not want an angry technician touching or going anywhere near your car. Second, that means that repair shop will jack you on pricing somewhere else on your bill. Third, that shop will not still be in business to warranty your car or for you to keep coming back to years down the road. Lastly, just consider wouldn't you rather going to a doctor that charges for his opinions than the one that gives them out freely and willingly (providing you have the money)? When someone's not getting paid for their work, they'll cut corners and guess wherever they can, they can't use those expensive computerized machines to help guide them to the correct answers.

Business 101: A business that is for-profit, needs dollars to operate - meaning they must collect some change from your pockets. 

Oh, I could just keep going on.

and so I must..... This is for your own good though... And the only reason I'm offering my free opinions is because I did this as my job. I had to explain over and over why I must charge you and got so sick and tired of educating you, that I decided to write it all down and get it out one last time so that maybe sometime in the future people won't be so darn clueless about what it takes to fix cars. 

First of all, in almost every repair shop, the technicians - the men working on your car, only get paid per labor hour that is charged to you. This labor hour is based on nation wide standards, there is no cheating this time. You look it up from alldata and bam, you bill it. So anything you get for free - your technician did, literally, for free. How much do you like working for free? And no I'm not talking about checking your emails after the 'workday' because you're on salary. I mean like F-R-E-E free! Now, it's not like I feel so bad for them, they signed up for it, but as a person informing another person about what their car needs you just need to know how this whole thing operates. 

I've held a lot of different jobs in my lifetime, and I feel like working in various industries has provided me with the information to not only understand how business works and why it works that way but how you can't just go in, as a customer, demanding whatever you want and acting like a complete jerkoff. 

Rule #1: Loyalty always pays off

First rule of thumb, when you find a repair shop that makes you feel confident, only go to them and never go anywhere else unless you absolutely have to. Go ahead and ask them to show you or give you the old parts, if they refuse or they won't, don't trust them. But don't be the jerk going to a new person every time you have a problem. This goes for everything you need in life, search for the right cable guy, doctor, handyman, grocery store, mechanic and stick with them, through the good and the bad (only if the bad gets handled in a proper manner). In the end, you showing that you will be that loyal customer every business wants, will only get you the results you desire. After you show a place you can be a loyal customer, than maybe you can feel confident in accepting when they offer you a free diagnostics sometime.

Rule #2: If your car starts making unnatural noises and you continue to drive it, you're officially retarded. 
That's it, that's all I can say for that one.

Rule #3: If your car starts making unnatural noises and you continue to drive it, it will not be cheap to fix your car.

Rule #4: Buy new belts.

As soon as your mechanic mentions anything about needing any new belt, do it, do it now, even if you needed your car back yesterday, you do the belt. I don't care how much it costs, if you want to keep your car, you do the belt. In the seven months working at a repair shop, I saw at least ten of the cars we had recommended getting new belts to the customer, get towed back in. Guess what though, now you don't just need a new belt, 1 or 2 of the cars needed new engines! ...Or at least half the work that goes into rebuilding an engine. That costed them a couple thousand instead of a couple hundred. When a belt breaks, so do multiple things on your car. Belts operate by pulleys which keeps all the vital components in your car moving, thus keeping you on the road. Power steering, alternators, ac compressors have pulleys on them, therefore your belt or belts, keep those things working. 

Rule #5: Pumps 

A car has numerous pumps. Basically a pump for every major system in the car, like power steering, brakes, air conditioning, oil, transmission, coolant and maybe a few more depending on what kind of car you drive. Pumps need fluid in order to work. So change your damn fluids. 

Rule # 6:Alignments are not always < or = 1 hour

Alignments are not always a quick and easy process. I'm not saying they can't be, but before you just expect your alignment to be done in one hour, why don't you give it a try. If your technician tells you it is taking longer than they thought, that's exactly what is happening. Those rusty tie rod ends and bolts you have on your 1990 jalopy are not always the easiest to adjust. Have you ever tried to loosen a bolt from something 10 + years old? Yeah, didn't think so. Go head, give it a try then keep up your b*tching. See how fast your car gets pulled out of the shop, your keys get handed to you and how fast and unevenly your tires start to wear over the next few months. Then go back to your mechanic and b*tch some more. My answer "You're going to need four new tires to correct the problem (which will be the vibration you feel when driving), that'll be at least $600." Which brings me to Rule #6.

Rule #7: Good tires aren't cheap

Don't buy cheap tires. But how do you know if they're cheap tires. Keep complaining about prices and your mechanic will try to find the cheapest tires possible to put on your car. Any tire brand you've never heard of, is a bad tire to put on your car. Stick to Michelin, Cooper, BFGoodrich and spend some $ to get some good tires on your car. After all, we all buy the best shoes we can afford since they're the only thing holding us up all day long. I'll say it again for you... Buy good tires, Good tires aren't cheap.

Rule #8: Cars aren't cheap

So if you're any kind of educated, and well if you're reading this you obviously have a computer or some kinda smart phone so you're already in the top whatever small percentage of the population... so I'll assume you are. Cars need things. Just like people need fresh water every day and good healthy food and exercise - so does your car. Just because it can't talk to you and say 'Mommy I want some water,' doesn't mean it doesn't need things. Think of your car as a baby or a dog, it can't exactly tell you what it needs. So let me tell you, it needs good, fresh, healthy oil, coolant, power steering fluid, transmission fluid, differential fluid, brake fluid and more. You can't just neglect your car for miles or years and expect it to not need things. You're lucky enough that it can go 3,000 miles, basically across the country and back without needing new oil. When your mechanic tells you that your fluids are dirty, don't go buy the new latest and greatest cell phone instead of changing your fluids... that makes you an idiot. Your car takes you everywhere you need to go, it is more important than replacing your 6G iPhone from last year.

Rule # 9: Don't buy an expensive car if you're a cheap prick. 

We've all seen 'em... the cheap whiny people in the BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, Volvo, Saab, Hummer, Jaguar, Infiniti, you get the point. If you're going to own a luxury vehicle, be prepared to spend luxury prices to fix your car. Therefore something that would cost $100 for a normal car, will cost you $300+. 

Rule #10: Top ten best cars

These are listed in no specific order... and are just my opinions. If you keep up with the maintenance schedules on these, they are great dependable vehicles.
1. GMC & Chevrolet Trucks with the 5.3L engines.
2. Honda Civic and Accord
3. Chevrolet Tahoe/Suburban
4. Nissan Xterra
5. Toyota Tacoma
6. Minivans in general (although I hate them, they're fairly cheap to maintain, plus have small tires like a car, which saves you a lot right there.)
7. Toyota Highlander
8. Jaguars
9. Lexus (all of them)
10. Subaru (all of them)

Rule #11: Cars you should never buy

1. Chrysler Sebring (don't EVER buy these)
2. Ford Taurus (multiple issues)
3. Volkswagen's or German cars in general (often develop oil and transmission leaks)
4. Pontiac Aztec (all around awful cars)
5. Suzuki (Parts are EXPENSIVE!!)

I shall stop here. I think I've given you all enough info.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Finding My Niche

I've been on a creative binge lately. I found something, some way of entertaining and amusing my passions in a way in which they coincide with each other. Since I have indulged in my love for automobiles throughout my blog, I'll be vague about that this time. My fetish for speed, mechanics and motion has turned a new leaf as far as my art goes. I'm destined to be surrounded by cars and maybe if I push it through my art, I can remove it from my 'day job,' as I so desire. 

Here's some pics of my new art, all digital paintings created with 
photoshop and my 'kiwi' as I've so named my Bamboo Drawing Tablet :) I put my most recent pictures first because well obviously I'm more proud of them than the first few I did ;)

Unlike the rest, I did this one for my fiance who wanted my new style to come through in a portrait of him with one of his guns. 

Custom piece created for my coworker, a digital painting/canvas print of his Ninja.